About Us

SOMETHING FUNNY!
VOLUME EIGHT

Think about this...

"99% of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses." --George Washington Carver

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Quick thinking...

Question: If a doctor is examining a patient and discovers that the patient is actually an investigator from the Office of the Inspector General, what does the doctor do?

Answer: He/She quickly writes out a referral slip.

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The doctor says to the patient: "I'm afraid I have bad news and also really bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Patient: "I guess give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "Your lab tests came in and you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "Oh my gosh! Then what could possibly be worse? What is the very bad news?"

Doctor: "Well, you didn't get my phone message yesterday."

A frantic mother called the doctor to explain that her little girl had managed to swallow some yeast and car wax and now just lies in bed. The mother asked the doctor what will happen to her. The doctor replied, "Sooner or later she will rise and shine."

Get people's attention...

• Put a mosquito netting around your cubicle
• Send an e-mail to your fellow office employees: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

Medical transcription bloopers...

"Surgery will be performed under general anastasia."

"The patient is in stale condition."

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Church bulletin bloopers...

The flowers on the altar will be given to those who are sick after the service.

Our monthly bible study will be held next Wednesday morning. It will be gin with breakfast at 6:30 a.m.

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Bits of wisdom...

"The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." --Voltaire

"It is what you learn after you know it all that counts."
--John Wooden

"For fast acting relief, try slowing down." --Lily Tomlin

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More Funnies:
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4
Volume 5
Volume 6
Volume 7