SOMETHING FUNNY!
VOLUME SEVENTEEN
It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
- Don Herold, humorist
Some folks want their luck buttered.
- Thomas Hardy
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb has to really want to be changed.
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate on you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." Patient: "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication."
- Western Union internal memo, 1876
A habit cannot be thrown out the window. It has to be coaxed down the stairs one step at a time."
- Mark Twain
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that is has taken place.
-George Bernard Shaw
There cannot be a crisis today. My schedule is already full.
- Henry Kissinger
What is your job history?
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found out I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB.
Man, do I enjoy it!!!
The Best Medicine: A Book of Cartoons
More of Something Funny:
Volume 16
Volume 15
Volume 14
Volume 13
Volume 12
Volume 11
Volume 10
Volume 9
Volume 8
Volume 7
Volume 6
Volume 5
Volume 4
Volume 3
Volume 2
Volume 1
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