SOMETHING FUNNY!
VOLUME SIXTEEN
Some things to Ponder for 2007...
Good Health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???
In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
As medical secretary, I'm not usually one to admonish doctors. One day, though, I felt I'd better step in. A young staff member was whistling happily as he walked by. "Doctor," I advised, "it might not be a good idea to be whistling that particular tune when you go in to see your patients." He laughed when he realized that he'd been whistling "If I Only Had a Brain" from The Wizard of Oz.
True Doctor Stories...
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered.."Why, not for about twenty years- when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis, OR
What does HMO stand for?
This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same.
Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
No. Only those you need.
Listening to customers is becoming a lost art. That's good news for people who still know how to do it.
- Norm Brodsky
Given two equally competent physicians, pick the one with a smile and optimistic disposition.
-Nicholas Wade
Sometimes you just have to laugh out loud and tell the other billers in the room what you are reading in the nurse's intake notes, which included the following, as the nurse was commenting on the patient's Shortness of Breath (with her abreviations): "As I saw the patient today, the S.O.B. was not as bad."
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
- Derek Bok
"Golf scores are directly proportional to the number of witnesses."
- Anonymous
"After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat."
- Anonymous
"Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents."
- Anonymous
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they were cramming for their finals.
"It is easy to be brave from a safe distance."
- AESOP
"There are times when silence has the loudest voice."
- Leroy Brownlow
"One good turn usually gets the whole blanket."
-E. Joseph Cossman
"The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we're ready for it."
-Arnold H. Glasow
The Best Medicine: A Book of Cartoons
More of Something Funny:
Volume 15
Volume 14
Volume 13
Volume 12
Volume 11
Volume 10
Volume 9
Volume 8
Volume 7
Volume 6
Volume 5
Volume 4
Volume 3
Volume 2
Volume 1
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